Belated Happy Anniversary Honey! I hope you don’t mind the unorthodox way of sending you my thoughts this time. Like you, I wanted to be more creative with my anniversary letter for you this year. No actually, you boldly suggested it to me (ahem) which was kind of cute and funny (uhuh). That’s just so you I, tell you. Anyway, an idea came to me (though belatedly obviously) in the form of a question. How about deliver it to you via www? Yeah, why not. Ooooops! Hold it right there boss! Just in case and so you know, E-Mail was never considered a medium for this particular plan of action so, of course, it would be unfair and quite ill-advised if you question my taste, as well as my sense of creativity. So don’t be a bad boy!

        Now, where was I? Oh yeah, thank you again for such a wonderful and heart-melting anniversary letter. If you must know, I so loved it! You’ve, once again, outdone yourself. It’s really quite remarkable how you can reinvent an existing concept, and simply take it to the next level. You’re totally gifted in that department, but of course you already know that. Your creativity is a wonderment that never ceases to amaze me. What an amazing creature you are. And you don’t even have two heads! Blegh!

        So we’ve been married for seven long years now, haven’t we? I just can’t believe that crap, can you? Wow. And for the life of me, I don’t even remember telling you "Yes, I will marry you."  Isn’t that supposed to be the prerequisite of "I do?"  What ever happened to that part mistah? Waittasec an’ lemme phink… Oh sheeet I’ve been tricked!!! (This is where I should see you all befuddled and exasperated,amusingly though I prefer, that is if you’re able to summon both feelings at the same time).

        All goofying aside, I wanna thank you for tricking me into marriage (please pause and listen to my fits of laughter and feel free to join me if you can’t help it either). I couldn’t have chosen a better man(with all that endless supply of good looks to boot), to allow such trickery (you’d have noticed a devilish grin on my face if you were watching me right now). Oh la la, weren’t I that fortunate to be conveniently around when those matrimonial thoughts started plaguing your sexy mind (this is where I’d give your tight bunns a good-ol’ squeeze as I settle myself playfully on your comfortable lap). A fetching picture. My oh my. That does it. All this blabbering has given me a sudden temperature. I’m feeling unbelievably "muy caliente!" Give me a moment, por favor. I think I just heard the shower curtains calling my name. Care to join moi? (((winks mischievously))) Okay. Okay. I’ll stop. I’m such a playah I know!

         Alright, it’s time to get right down to business and get downright durrty. I LOVE YOU HONEY. I love every delicious inch of you, from head to toe (or toenails, it doesn’t matter as long as they’re clean depending, of course, which ones are longer, the toes or the toenails). You’re truly the man of all my daytime and nighttime dreams, ONLY; (pause for a suspenseful effect) Sexier, Smarter, Funnier, and Exceedingly (sigh) Handsome! You’re my classmate (nah) my checkmate (grrr) I mean, my soulmate (yae dats it). You’re the reigning provider of all my wants and needs. You’re the scratcher of my back, the maker of my coffee, the preparer of my bath, and the list goes on and on and on. I mean really, the only thing I can think of that you haven’t done for me, so far, is sing me a lullabye, into sleep. (Well, well, well. Doesn’t that exactly sound like a marriage of convenience to you?) *winks*

        Seriously love, you are truly God’s gift to me and I believe that with all my heart. I can never thank God enough for giving me—>YOU. You’re the answer to my favorite childhood prayer. As silly as it sounds, it’s the sad and embarrassing truth. I prayed daily for God to give me a good husband someday, who would respect me, and treat me right, and give me unconditonal love. The funny thing though was, and although it had always been in the back of my mind, I never asked God for a good looking husband because I was soo afraid I’d get on His bad side and was mortified at the idea of a rejected prayer. So, everyday I would pray fervently for the same thing over and over. But God has a terrific sense of humor after all. How else did I end up having you in my life? Not only you’re wonderful, you also happen to be very pleasing to my naked eyes.

        Honey, I‘m so happy and content with you that my own lovelife story feels like one of those happily-ever-after-ending fairy tales, plucked right out of a romance book. Only mine has a slight twist to it… I’m the frog and you’re the prince, and I still end up resembling an ugly toad (ooops, scratch that and replace it with " a lovely toad" please) right after we kiss (ahahaha). But you love me anyway, and I don’t know what else to say except…

                        I LOVE ME TOO. OH WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.                              

                                                    THE END.